Well, its nice to see you again too.

I had been working at the restaurant for about 6 months.  For the previous 2, Tweedle Dim Sum was gone, running various errands for the 10 or so businesses she owned.  Tweedle Dum Sum, by this point, had unfortunately become someone I could no longer make fun of on this site.  She was being decent for some reason, which put quite a damper on my anecdote production.  Tweedle Dim Sum showed up unexpectedly one afternoon.  She seemed pleasant.  She was smiling and talking to some of her other most hated employees in a way that suggested that one of her “errands” was reaching enlightenment. Her English had much improved, and I could now understand nearly every other word she was speaking.  After having a 15 minute conversation with her second most hated employee, he came up to me, beaming.

Chris: Well, she’s being nice to me.  Apparently, something great must have happened to her.  Go talk to her.  She hates you the most.  If she’s nice to you, then we will know for sure that she has gotten better.

At this point, I had given up completely on the job, and abandoned all hope that these crazy people would ever grow to like me.  I was sticking around this hell hole for my own sick amusement, and I decided to bravely approach her, my best shit eating grin smeared across my face.

Lemonjello: Hey, boss lady.

Tweedle Dim Sum looked at me with one of her eyes, her lips and jaw clenching and releasing, like she was gnawing on a rock.

Tweedle Dim Sum: You have to seat the customer when they come in!  You can’t just sit back here do nothing!  It make you look so lazy!  Do your job!

And off she went.

Now, this would have been a valid reason for her to yell at me, if any of the following factors existed.

A) We had any customers waiting

B) We didn’t have a hostess.

C) Seating customers was actually my job, or

D) I wasn’t actually busy getting drinks for my table when she approached me.  I had a full section and was clearly busy.

Turned out her happiness only went as far as she could see, which was not very far at all.


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