The pitfalls of being an author.

I have a real issue with doing things I don’t want to do.  It makes it difficult for me to function on a day to day basis, because when faced with something I have no interest in, I can’t fake it.  I just give up and shut down and say “I don’t need to go to the bank.  I’ll just keep using my debit card until there is no more money and it gets declined.  Whatever.”

Something I really despise doing for some reason is collecting things that I need to mail out.  Free health insurance, daycare vouchers and food stamps damaged the list making for me.  I don’t have a printer, which makes things worse.  If a list of things needed looks like this:

Copy of recent W-2

Copy of drivers license, birth certificate and social security card

Last 4 paychecks

Filled out form

Signed thing from landlord, boss, emergency contact

It requires two weeks of running back and forth to the library to make copies, finding the pay stubs to copy, realizing I don’t have them, calling the company 30 times to try to get the password to access them online, going to the library to get online so I can print the paystubs out, forgetting my library card, making another trip, going online to find all the addresses I need to put on the form, carrying the letters I need signed to work, hunting down the landlord so he can sign the letter.  It’s never easy to put everything together, so instead, I just opt out of health care and say fuck it to government assistance.

Unfortunately, finding a publisher or an agent creates the same disdain and annoyance for me.  Rewriting synopses, figuring out what the hell a cover letter is when the synopsis covered everything the cover letter requires, wondering which of my websites are worth bragging about, looking for a copy of the magazine a story I wrote was featured in because I can’t remember the name of it, taking multiple trips to the library to print out pages of the book, etc, etc.

I know this makes me sound so lazy and horrible, but I can’t help it.  I would have made the worst hunter/gatherer, because the act of hunting and gathering makes me want to eat a burger and fall asleep on the couch.

I guess this is another hurdle I need to classless-ly climb over in order to reach my goal.

I think this is why self publishing sounds so appealing to me.  All I have to do is hit copy paste and HUZZAH!  I have a novel.  Is this a cop out though?  Is this considered “settling?”  Should I strive to do better, or be happy with being mediocre?

I think I should get over myself and go make some copies.


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