That’s right. As of  5 minutes ago, the final copy of Polarity was sent in to The completely edited, PDF-ified pile of 8 years worth of sweat and mild to mind boggling panic attacks has received its final period and is floating through cyberspace towards publication. I took a look at the proof today, and was just so amazed. My chapters, my words, in 6 by 9 format, on pages that will soon be printed. I can’t actually believe that this is done. I have devoted so much of these last 8 years to this. It has been edited 6 times, rewritten twice, and lost twice. I have given up on it more times than I can remember. It has been rejected 3 times by large publishers.

In this novel I have included a nightmare that I had towards the end of the first draft, I have absorbed another story into it, I have included a thing I saw while driving down the street that ended up becoming the entire basis of the book, and I have gotten manic and created a soundtrack for the movie adaptation that I have since forgotten, because I was manic and believed that I would remember the entire thing once I came down. I have written this on lunch breaks at 3 different jobs, I have written while Sophia was newborn and sleeping in her car seat in the living room, I have written during good times and attempted to write during bad. I have escaped into the world of the Conductor, I have smelled the sand, I have cried for the characters, I have mourned them. By the time the first draft was completed, I had filled 3 wide ruled spiral bound notebooks, one of which I thought I had accidentally left behind when I divorced my husband and moved back home. The novel began in Navy housing in Groton, Connecticut, in a house filled with anger and sadness. It has ended in Lakewood, Ohio, in a house filled with the kind of calming love you would feel in a spa. Surrounded by my menagerie of pets and my amazing and supportive boyfriend, right down the hall from where my beautiful daughter sleeps, this novel has reached the end of one journey, and is finally about to evolve and begin a brand new life as a published body of work.

This will not be the end of me. This is just the beginning. One novel down, an infinite number left to go. And now that this is finally completed, I can get back to work on all of the other stories that I have floating around in my mind like jettison cast from an airplane into the sea. I wonder what is in store for me now…


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