Hello, my name is Amy, and I am a food hoarder.

*Sits back down* Thanks for not yelling at me. Now where is the coffee and donuts I was promised.

Shit. Donuts are filled with eggs and dairy. And the coffee is undrinkable without cream. Well, fuck.

So, making an attempt to go vegan is not a recent thing. I have been reading up on it quite a bit, yes, but have been pathetically attempting to implement it for years. It started back when my daughter was in first grade. Her difficulties in school led her teacher to believe that she had some learning disabilities. We took her to a psychologist, who said that cutting meat and dairy out of her diet would help. Desperate to make my daughter feel as normal as possible (while surrounded my her stepdad and I, who are both completely insane), we went vegan. Cold turkey. It didn’t last long. I dragged it out like veganism was a nineteen year old blind sick and smelly Basset Hound that was just begging to be put down. There were a lot of tears. Since then, I have done my best to keep meat, at the very least, out of our diet. I work at an all natural grocery store, and I get free shit all of the time, so it helps.

It also, unfortunately, hurts as well. Because we get free everything. Beans and vegan frozen meat substitutes and pasta and such, but also chocolate granola bars, creamy soups, cream cheese. I’m obsessed with being thrifty, and we are always broke, so I accept every single free item with a depression-era enthusiasm for such things. I grab all I can and worry about using it later. The plus side to this is that I haven’t bought groceries in months. The downside, of course, is that it is fairly hard to be vegan when I just brought home ten frozen cheese pizzas that expired the day before. What’s worse is that my husband works at two different pizza shops, and brings home free pizza all of the time.

Okay, not worse, really. Pizza is the main reason I’m having difficulty with the veganism thing.

Although this may seem like an excuse, I feel like, while I may not be perfect, I am trying, and I am doing my best. I may ear a slice of free cheese pizza, but it’s after a day of eating nothing but fruits, veggies, rice and beans. I do what I can, right? But spending so much of my life being broke, I have a difficult time turning down those free goodies. So right now, I’m happy to say that I am not buying any food unless it’s vegan. For now, that seems to work for me.

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